Unrealistic Expectations
by Pessimist
Summary: “Hermione! You are honestly the stupidest smart person I've ever met!” RonHermione Rubbish :D


**Author's Note:** Just a one-shot that came to me. It really has nothing to do with any of the books, but hopefully it's a little bit humorous. ;)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter... or anything else for that matter.

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**Unrealistic Expectations**

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"I love you."

Hermione froze in shock outside the cracked open door of Ron's bedroom. She turned around and leaned mutely against the doorjamb for what seemed like a silent eternity, her eyes wide and staring, her hands folded neatly in front of her.

Then she ran. Ran down the long, crooked staircase of The Burrow and into the nearest empty room she could find which happened to be a dark, damp and mouldy-smelling broom cupboard.

That could not have been Ron who had just said that. Ron was rude, insensitive, and acutely unaware of the feelings of living beings, and Hermione had never entertained the notion of him being, well... _gay_. Yet there he was alone in his room with Harry confessing love to a boy he had claimed to be best friends with for nearly half of his life.

His sexuality was his own business, but it really did Hermione no good to finally remember that she had harbored a strong attraction to the gangly young man for quite some time. Just the idea of not being told something important like that hit her like a bullet train. If she had known... it might have spared her some of the pain and agitation.

Finally, Hermione slid down the nearest wall in a squatting position, buried her hands in her hair in frustration, and let herself be racked by silent sobs.

She had always suspected that Ron had fancied her. He had made it seem obvious on many occasions, especially when Viktor Krum was in the vicinity, but with the events that presented themselves today... For once in her life, Hermione had begun to doubt the logic center of her brain.

How long she sat there, she did not know, but it was not until a shadow blocked what little light had seeped under the door that she lifted her head off her arms, tear trails dry, yet still evident on her face. The door slid open not too smoothly and there, standing with his arms out stretched, was none other than the object of her affections. Despite his calm demeanor and slightly worried expression as he looked down at her crouched on the floor, Hermione could not help but feel intimidated as the blue eyes of the gangly figure bore themselves deep into her own.

She looked away.

"Hermione, what're you doing down here?" Ron's voice sounded exasperated. He looked on in annoyance when she only muttered something into her arm that had wrapped itself instinctively around her knees. "Get up, will ya?"

She stood and regained her composure, the only obvious evidence of her crying was her right hand as it rubbed itself over her nose several times, sniffling and drawing one long, shuddering breath.

"I always knew you to be slightly mental, but sitting in a broom cupboard?" Ron trailed off, slightly amused, a half-smile plastered on his freckled face.

"I was helping your mum clean the kitchen." Hermione paused in mid-lie, "I came in to get a broom, and the door locked itself."

The boy in front of her looked puzzled. "But it wasn't even locked."

The witty girl almost found herself blushing at her own obvious mistake. "N-no, it was," she argued back lamely, beginning to lose her head.

Ron laughed, purposely forgetting to tell her that she could have unlocked it if she had wanted to, and decided to amuse her instead. "Even if it was _locked_," he put stress on the word to indicate sarcasm, "Mum can just use her wand to clean up any mess and sort through any rubbish." When Hermione said nothing for several minutes and just looked down at a crack on the floor, and an awkward silence had presented itself, he added something quietly. "I saw you through the door."

At that, the bushy brown head shot up to look at him, only to find him staring at almost the same spot at which she had been staring just moments ago.

"You... did."

"Yeah, I did." And Hermione waited for him to speak as he cleared his throat several times. "I uh... hope you didn't get the wrong idea about that..."

"About what?" The witch tried to hide how upset she was, but the climb in the pitch of her voice gave her away.

Ron only raised a disbelieving eyebrow at her feigned attempt at being oblivious. "How much... uh... did you actually hear up there?" He tried to remain calm, but Hermione was able to sense the smallest hint of a quiver in his voice.

"The last bit," she replied as she recalled the last sentence in her mind, seeing her companion's eyes widen across from her. When he did not offer a word, she continued, "What do you want me to say, Ronald?! That I should quit overreacting?!"

Said boy glared back at her. "I had hoped you would be a little bit more understanding."

"Understanding?!" she said, ignoring Ron as he tried to shush her, "Understanding?!" she repeated again, positively shrieking and nearly pulling out tufts of her bushy hair but deciding against it at the last minute. "How can I possibly be expected to understand you when you've never once offered me an inkling of the truth?!"

"What the – I've been dropping you bloody hints for years!"

"'Bloody hints'? What's your idea of a bleeding hint? Tell me that!" Both teenagers had slowly begun to grow hot with anger by just looking at each other.

"What are you getting so angry for anyway?!"

"Oh, no reason. No reason at all! Except for the fact that you've just gone and confessed your undying love for Harry Potter right to his face, and then you couldn't even bother to come and tell _me_ about it!" Hermione finished, red in the face. She knew, somewhere deep down, that she was being ridiculous, that nothing that had come out of her mouth in the last few minutes was fair, but her sudden jealousy had disabled all thoughts of justice in her mind.

She watched as Ron's disposition changed to one of mild horror, and then reverted almost instantly to a mask of fury. "Hermione! You are honestly the stupidest smart person I've ever met!" She was not sure if he had said this in anger or demented amusement.

"So now I'm stupid for questioning your sexuality?!" she yelled in disbelief, only slightly aware that the rest of the house could probably hear what she was saying… or shouting, rather. "I think you're being a bit melodra - " but Ron cut her off.

"Don't you go accusing me of being melodramatic! You're the one who started this argument in the first place! First you attack me without any real reason, and then you go telling me you think I'm... _gay_ or something!"

"Aren't you?" Hermione asked, her voice level lowering several notches.

"No, I'm not! And even if I was, you shouldn't go poking fun at other people's feelings like some sort of bloody, bushy-haired bird of prey!"

"Bird of – what is that supposed to mean?!" she responded, once again in an outrage.

"It means that if you hadn't been butting into my business, you wouldn't've gotten the wrong idea in the first place!"

"You weren't talking about Harry, were you..." It was not a question, and it was not a statement she had directed at Ron. It was directed at herself and at her own stupidity. Suddenly she realized just how absurd the thought of Ron being gay actually was and the fact that she had shouted it to his face, and she felt her own face flushing from embarrassment.

"No! Of course I wasn't!" Ron had also in turn lowered his voice to an indoor volume.

"Then... you were talking to somebody else? Like… practicing for somebody else?" At his nod, Hermione asked, "Who was it then?"

"Why does that matter to you anyway?!" Ron hissed, his voice on the verge of rising to the level of a wounded elephant yet again. "It's none of your business!"

"Oh, as if you're in any position to talk about getting in someone else's business! This coming from the guy who got jealous of Viktor Krum and ran off and snogged Lavender Brown behind my back!"

"That's different!" But she saw Ron's ears redden despite the darkness in the closet.

"How so?"

"Because I'm in love with you!"

"I know! And I'm in love with you!"

"I already knew that!"

There was an awkward pause only disturbed by the clanging of kitchenware on the floor below at the erratic thumping of the ghoul in the attic several stories above.

"Then why are we fighting?"

There was another similar pause, though it didn't stretch on quite as unbearably long as the first one.

"I don't know."

And that was the truth. In many of the arguments the two of them had, it was over something silly. This time... what _had_ they been arguing about? She had blanked out completely during the moments of silence. Why were the two of them always so bloody stupid around each other and after years of friendship?

"Why are we so stupid?" At this point, Hermione had covered her face again, this time in embarrassment, and resumed her seat on the floor of the broom cupboard.

Taking pity on the girl in front of him, Ron Weasley crouched down to her level and just simply looked at her. When she refused to acknowledge his presence (whether she knew he was there or not), he reached out and patted her awkwardly on the top of her bushy head.

Hermione resurfaced with an unreadable expression on her face. "That's not a very romantic gesture, considering you just confessed your love to me, Ron."

He looked at her quizzically. "Well…" he mused. "We _are_ still in my parents' house. I wouldn't want to do anything indecent." She couldn't help but let out a snort at his statement.

Rather than saying anything else at the risk of sounding moronic, Ron grabbed both sides of her face with his hands and forced her to look at him. She blinked, he grinned, and her hands came to rest on the wrists that were holding the sides of her head in place.

Hermione had opened her mouth to respond to Ron's last statement, but before she could say anything clever or witty, he had already pecked her on the lips. It was brief, but it was enough to let her know that he absolutely adored her.

Before she could say anything, however, Ron stood up. "We should probably get outta here before somebody else comes in and, you know, _gets the wrong idea._" He said the last bit with emphasis and a smirk, directed precisely at Hermione, who scowled but stood up after him. She waited silently for Ron to open the door, but for some reason, he was not doing anything of the sort.

"What on Earth are you doing?" she asked his still form in front of her. She saw him run a hand through his hair as she spoke as if he were rethinking something.

"It's er… locked, and I don't have a wand on me right now."

Hermione looked at his back in mild disbelief. "What kind of wizard doesn't carry around a wand?" She stumbled forward a little and pushed in front of him, though it was difficult because there wasn't much room in the confined space to begin with. "Oh, here, let me do it." Ron caught her hand in midair just as she had raised her wand and began the incantation to open the door. "Ron, what-"

"How about… we just stay in the closet for a few more minutes." His voice didn't sound normal, but rather deep and slurred. "I can think of plenty of things to do in here to keep me occupied for the next hour…" At this, he put a hand at the base of Hermione's neck, drawing her even closer to himself.

She smiled as he kissed her.

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**Author's Notes:** Well… not my best. Dude… I completely forgot I had written this. Seriously, I was just looking through some of my old e-mails (I don't know why), and it was on one of them as an attachment. So… I hope this at least didn't pointlessly eat up too much of your time, and I hope you'll take the time to review it!


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